When Agnes moved in, she had never been in the great outdoors.
At the feed store they kept her inside because of the busy highway
running in front of the store. We had Agnes about a month
before getting her ready for the big adventure. I had a plan
for making her an indoor and outdoor kitty. I will be
projecting what Agnes felt and saw as she entered a new maybe
dangerous cycle of her life.
Holy cats! Did I fall into cat paradise? Let me tell you
about my new place. First, it is huge and I can run from one
end of the place to the other end of the place and I do love to
zoom. My humans call it Home but I call it heaven. The
floors are wood and I can turn, swerve, jump, stop without sliding
into a wall or furniture. By the way, I am learning all these
words from my Humans as they talk to each other. They think I
don't understand, but I do. I am now bilingual - cat and
human. I learn more human everyday. They call me Agnes,
whatever that means. I make them feel good every now and then
by looking at them when they say "Agnes". It makes them so
happy. I never ever walk over to them when they say "Agnes".
We have to have some boundaries.
The food and water comes twice a day. Always some good fresh
water in my bowl and are you ready for this - wet food and dry food
every single day! I wish my mom could see me now. They
even have a huge box that I visit every now and then to make a
deposit or two if you know what I mean. My humans even clean
it out every day. Pull my tail! I must be dreaming.
My house mate cat is Vera. She is much older but still cool.
We get along just fine. I noticed when I first arrived, she would
disappear for long periods of time. I wondered where she went
and one morning I was looking out one of the windows and I saw her
on the other side of the window. How did she get there?
I started looking around for a way to get out there with her, but I
could not figure it out until I happened to see my big human open
the door and let Vera in. Duh, that must be the way she gets
out. So the next time I saw the door opening, I slinked up to it and
checked the smells coming in the door. Wow! So many smells, so
little time. So, now every time the door was opened, I checked
out the smells and inched closer to the door for a better smelling
position. When I started getting too close to the door, the
human would say "Back" and stick his foot in my face. Seems
like they don't want me to know what is on the other side of the
I heard them talking about "Outdoor" and I figured out that's what
they call the other side of the door. My humans were worried
about me getting out to the Outdoor and I overheard them talking
about getting me Outdoors safely. They seemed to be worried about me
running away or getting lost in the Outdoors. Why would I run
away from Paradise? I just do not understand them sometime. Anyway,
they started hatching a plan to get me on the other side of the
The next day my big human cornered me and picked me up. I am
not crazy about being picked up and I went all stiff to let him know
I was not happy. Then he opened the door and stepped
into the Outdoors. Holy Catnip, I was surprised and suddenly
being in his arms was not a bad idea. The light, the sounds,
and the smells all hit me like the first time I saw a dog. The
Outdoors was scary! I thought very seriously about making a
break for the Indoors but the big guy settled me down by talking
softly and petting me telling me all the time it was going to be all
right. I relaxed a little, but I was still on mouse alert.
We moved off the porch and when I looked up, there was nothing but
this big blue nothing and lots of green and brown things coming out
of the ground. He explained everything to me as we moved about
what he called "The backyard". The big blue thing was sky, and
the green and brown things were trees and grass. There were lots of
other things he did not talk about but I figured we would get around
to them later or let me figure them out. I was starting to
think maybe this was not a bad place when this huge blue thing
zipped by making all kinds of racket. Tense time again and my
tail fluffed but he told me that was a Scrub Jay and it was a bird
and I would see lots of different birds in the Outdoors but they
were not dangerous.
We had been out for a while and I was getting tired so we headed
back indoors. He put me down on the porch, opened the door and
I just walked in like I owned the place. What a day! I moseyed over
to Vera and told her what I had done today. She was not very
impressed. "Come back and talk to me when you have been
Outdoors by your self "she said. By myself! By myself! My tail
Anyway, to make a long, traumatic story short we went out everyday
for about a week with me safe in the arms of my human. We walked
around and discovered the "front yard" and the "road". The
road is a bad place where bad things happen to not only cats but
other animals as well. I was told to stay away from the road in no
uncertain terms. A couple of days later my human sat down on the
back porch and I scooted down onto his lap. We sat there for a
while looking, smelling and listening to the backyard. He looked
down at me and said it was time for me to become and outdoor cat for
awhile. With that, he pushed me out of his lap onto the actual
back porch. Of course, you know what fluffed and I tried to
get back onto that wonderful, safe lap. He stood up and there I was,
alone on the back porch. I un-fluffed and started walking around the
porch not quite ready to go out into the trees and grass with that
screeching bird. We stayed out there for about an hour and he
opened the back door and we went inside.
The next day, he just opened the back door and stood there until I
walked out onto the porch all by myself!! He came out with me,
closed the door and sat down on the porch with me. Well, after
about five minutes, I got tired of staring at him and started
exploring the porch. With us cats, exploring means smelling
everything within reach. I added so many new smells to my
brain smell section in the next hour. When I paused for a
moment and looked around, no human! I was outdoors by myself -
fluff. Then I heard the door opening and I headed for the
inside. My human was just inside the door. He had been
watching me all the time. He is so cool! I gave him a great
Since then I have explored and conquered the back yard and the front
yard. Learned about grass, butterflies, lizards, rain, thunder(bad
news), and too many things to go into. I found out those trees
are great to climb just for fun or to escape danger. Thank
goodness for trees! Me, Vera, Lucy, George and the next door cat now
spend many wonderful hours in the Outdoors. Hey, I highly recommend
the Outdoors to any cat. Thanks to my humans.
PS. We all come into the house before it gets dark. Lots of
dangerous critters out there that are very scary.
Vet Time for Agnes
Agnes here again! The screen is up in the back room and there is a big, nasty looking moth of some
kind taunting me. Fluff, pounce, I got em. Wait, something is wrong
here. I have declawed but one of my legs is still hanging on the
screen and the leg is attached to me. Let me pull back up with my
other paw to free myself. Dang, did not work! I am still hanging by
one claw from the screen. This is starting to hurt. One more big
pull and I should be free. Ow, ow, ow. I am free but most of my claw
is still hanging from the screen. Dang, that hurts and I see some
blood. That is not good. Blood should be on the inside, not outside.
I take a couple of licks on the offending paw and that really hurts. This is not good and my dad ( I
started calling my big human “dad”) is not around to help me. It
even hurts to walk on my paw. Here I am limping around like a small
black and white cripple. This really sucks! I can’t even zoom. It
hurts too badly. What is my plan?
The plan is this. When dad gets
home, I will limp in front of him and look pitiful. That pitiful
look with the big wide eyes always gets his attention. Finally, dad shows up. Where in
cat’s green earth has he been. I’m hurting here. I walk over in
front of him with my terrible limp, a small meow and the big eyes.
It works! He immediately bends over and picks me up (not crazy about
that part but I need this paw fixed). He gently holds my foot and
takes a close look at it. When he touches it, I start to squirm and
fidget to let him know that does not feel good. He says to mom “She
has hurt her foot and I need to take her to the vet”.Oh no! I thought dad could fix
the problem and I would be on my merry way. Not the vet!! He made
the call and sets up an appointment for the next morning. Maybe it
will get well by then. Us cats are known for our quick recuperation
times. I will think heal, heal, heal all night. Nope, did not work. It hurts
even more the next morning.
Out comes that poopy cage that he
carries us to the vet entombed in. It does no good to run or hide –
dad always gets me in the end. He picks me up by the scruff of the
neck and slides me into the cage. I hate it in here! It is small and
smells like other cats and stuff too icky to mention. Oh my lion king! We are going
outside and getting in that big, noisy metal thing with wheels. Here
We bounce around for about ten minutes and dad lets me know
we are at the vet. Oh, goody, goody. Dad turns off the noisy metal
thing (he calls it a car, you don’t want to know what I call it) and
he comes around and tears me out of the car into really loud sounds
coming from the road. He opens the door to the vet’s place, and
wow!!! The smells are overwhelming. I have no idea what some of the
smells and noises are but they are not calming. Holy Morris the cat,
I even smell DOGS and can hear them blathering in the background. We
are in kitty Hades.
We go back to a small, dank room
that smells like every animal in the world has been in there. Dad
sits me on a small, hard table and we wait. After about five
minutes, the other door swings open. Yes, I have been paying
attention to escape routes just in case things get really serious. In walks this new human that I have never seen or smelled before and
starts talking to me like she knows me. I am not fooled by her and I
know she wants to do something horrible to me.
Oh no! Dad is unlocking and opening the top and pulling me out onto that hard, cold surface. All
I can do is push up against him and hope for the best.
He talks to
me in his good voice and holds me next to him while this other human
is trying to poke something up my rear end. Zip, it is in and then
it is out. That was really rude. I really do not know what they did,
but it seems to make them happy. I don’t have a “temperature” what
ever that is. Next, dad lifts me up and puts me down on this big
plastic thing and it goes ding also. I weigh seven and one half
pounds. So what! Who cares? I sure hope this will be over soon.
Another human shows up.
According to dad, he is the “Vet”. He does not look or smell that
bad, but you never can tell about humans. He starts petting and
rubbing me while he talks to dad. Hey, this is not bad. I start to
relax a little. Then bam, I have been picked up by the Vet and taken
to another room where I can’t even see or smell dad. They let me
smell something and after that things get a little fuzzy. I don’t
remember anything until I am back in the room with dad and I have
these huge, long feet on me. I can’t even walk without falling over.
What have they done to me?
They put me back in the cage and we head
back out to the car. The vet gives dad a bunch of instructions about
me and what he has to do to me. I am still a little woozy, so I
don’t really listen that closely. I am just glad to be getting out
of the vet room. I am even a little glad to see the car as dad puts
me into the front seat.
I am so glad to see that house
and driveway. Hurry up and get me back into my home. Goody, goody,
all the smells and sounds are there along with the fam. I am even
glad to see HT. But, these socks have got to go. I can’t walk, I
can’t run and I fall down a lot. Dad puts me up in my bed on top of
the bookcase in the back bedroom and gives me a big dollop of food
and some good fresh water. It is good to be back.
It took me about two hours to
get the socks off and start walking normally. It still hurt a
little, but it got better quickly. Of course, there was the
medicine. Twice a day dad had to drown me with some evil tasting
concoction. He said it would make be better, and who am I to argue
with the big guy. In about a week I was all well and zooming again.
Life is good again and don’t tell him, but Dad knows what he is
doing. I am going to go give him a big rub right now. Zoom!