Cat Shorts

ALBERT PAGE

Purrrrrr! There is a disturbance in the Force. I just woke up and I can feel a new cat presence in the house. It is a strong presence – a male presence. He is not happy at the moment and is really scared. Let me see what I can find! Mom and Dad are gone right now so there is no interference from their energy. I am Lena and I am on a mission to remove this disturbance in the force. I follow my whiskers into the small room with the sink.

There he is. I can hear him mewing under the cabinet and he is not a happy kitten. Meow, meow I say (translated, that means “Hi, little guy”) and that gets his attention. I have never had babies. I always wanted some, but mom and dad had me fixed so I could not have kittens. That is alright because I do have a good life with lots of cat friends here in the house. But, this little guy is so CUTE and needy. Maybe I can be a mom to him and help him adjust to his new life in the family. What have I got to lose?

I walk over and lay down next to him and start talking softly to him to calm him down. After awhile, he comes out and snuggles down next to me with his tiny purr motor going. He is gorgeous - gray and white with long fluffy fur. He has a few scratches on his nose but those will heal with some help from me. We just snuggle like that for awhile and before you know it, we are true friends. He smells so good and I give him his secret mom name and I tell him my secret name that my mom gave me.. He really likes his new name and we are now related. No, I cannot tell you what these names are. The names are how we recognize each other for the rest of our lives.

 Mom and dad come in and he gets upset again. I tell him to chill out. They are good humans and will make his life very good. Just trust them and you will be all right. Let them touch you and love on you and things will be good. So, he takes my word and lets dad pick him up and kiss him. Personally, I have never liked to be kissed, but mom and dad seem to get a kick out of it and I like to make them happy. A little kissing never hurts anyone.

They head into the kitchen to get some chow for the little guy. I follow along keeping an eye on my baby. Dad puts him down and slides some really good Fancy Feast in front of him. He was really hungry and starts emptying that small bowl with mucho gusto. I am laying nearby, and then it happens. He looks up at me, says thank you and uses my mom name. What a moment. I just roll over on my back and purr. I have a son.

While he is scarfing more food down, Dad says we need to name him. Mom and Dad toss about a few names, and then the name Albert pops up. That is perfect. They agree, and my new son’s human name is Albert. Big Al, Al – fits him perfectly. He is going to be a big wild eyed male cat. I have plans for that boy!

Over the following months, Al did grow and become a very large, gentle cat. I worked with him trying to make him a mellow, loving cat. We spent a lot of time together and my earth kitty tendencies did shape Al into a special kitty. Of course, I may be biased, but I think he is the best cat in the house, and maybe even the world. I got to be a mom, he got to be a son, and I can’t complain about that. Life is good at the house. Here is my favorite picture that dad took of us together. I love that boy.

albert and lena

 He does not have a mean bone in his large furry body and I feel proud that I had the chance to be a mom to a great kitty. Thanks, cat gods.    

This is dad speaking. Lena was a really special kitty and she loved her son Albert.

Albert Goes Outside

What the heck is going on? The big one is picking me up. This is not good. Usually this means a trip to the vet or medicine. I am not a happy kitty. What can I do? Nothing because he can corner me and pick me up. So, I let him get me. This will end with blood.

Nope – we are heading out the back door. He knows I don’t like to be picked up and held yet, here he is doing just that. I am getting fidgety and he will not let me down. Hmm, we are walking around outside and he is talking to me in a his soothing voice. I am getting distracted with all the new sounds and smells. He knows what he is doing.

We walk around the rock wall in the backyard and he lets me smell the trees and bushes as long as I want to. Many, many new smells to process. After about ten minutes we head back inside. What the poop was that? I kinda liked it.

Next day and we do the same thing but only a little longer and he lets me touch the trees and sink my claws into the tree. Ooh, that feels so good. I am beginning to enjoy this “exploring bit” and I relax a little and start to observe what is going on. Maybe he knows what he is doing! This could get to be fun after awhile. To make a long story short, we do the same thing for the next several days with me getting more and more mellow with this “carrying thing”. I am even starting to look forward to the big one getting home each day so I can go outside.

I have processed many of the smells and I have put them in my smell bank for future reference. This is turning out to be a fun thing. How can this be a bad thing?

Wrong again! He came home today, picked me up and we went outside as usual. Then things went to upchucking status. WE WENT OUT THE DOOR AND HE PUT ME DOWN!!!  What the hiss?  I looked around, felt the strange texture on the bottom of my feet and thought “this is not good. I need to get back into the house”. This sucks.

The big one would not open the door. I stood there and whined, but to no avail. I was on the back porch and nothing between me and my feet but cold, hard stuff.  I feel a hair ball coming on. The big one finally started talking to me in his soothing voice. Telling me everything would be OK and I needed to explore the “back porch”, whatever that was. I looked around and there seemed to be no immediate dangers, I took a couple of deep breaths, put my nose up in the air and sucked in the new smells. Hey, these were not new smells. These were the same smells as when the big one held me and we walked around. Time to suck it up and explore the back porch. Besides, there was George cleaning himself and he was not uptight, so I became not uptight.

 I moseyed out to the edge of the porch but there were lots of dangerous looking “things” out there I was not ready to investigate yet. So I started sniffing every thing on the porch to put into my smell bag. I tell you, that kept me busy for awhile and I even started mellowing as I sniffed and learned. The big one stayed within site so that helped a lot. I trust him, so it made my investigations much easier and I felt pretty darn safe with that big guy guarding me.

After awhile, I realized this was a good place. Wow! If the back porch was a good place, then just think what all that other stuff off the porch would be. I was thinking who needed a litter box when all this new stuff could be pooped on and peed on. This was a revelation to me. George was right. “Indoors suck!”. Us big boys belong outside in the great outdoors and I was ready to explore and see what this new life brings to me. Of course, as George reminded me, “Only during the daytime. Nighttime is not good.” I was ready for the daytime but I was not sure what “Nighttime was”. I would find out more about what bad things are in “Nighttime" later from Lucy.

Dirty litter box, that George loves to play. I saw him run up one of the trees (he told me what a tree was) and it looked like a lot of fun. I got so carried away I jumped off the porch and tried it. It was not as easy as George made it look. It took me a couple of tries, but I finally made it up to the first limb. What a rush!  I had no idea I was so strong and agile. The view was good and I could see the whole backyard.  Holy cats! I was off the porch! 

When I came down, George was waiting for me and we romped and chased each other all over the yard. I did not have to “skulk” anymore. I could run wide open and the speed was great – though at first I had trouble stopping in time. I ran into the tree trunks a couple of times before I learned about braking distance. These trees beat the fuzz out of a wimpy scratching post. What a great day!!

I was getting a little worn out by now and I decided to go in and get some kibble. Wouldn't you know, the big one was right there to let me in. How does he do it? I was peckish and there in my bowl was some excellent chow which I made disappear quickly. I wanted to tell Abby about my day, but I saw my favorite napping spot and it was calling to me. How could I resist after a perfect cat day?

The rest is history. After a few more days, I felt pretty darn feline out in the back yard. The big one made sure I did not stray too far. He limited my range to the rocks around the back yard. When I trespassed, there were dire consequences with lots of yelling and a broom involved. I soon learned to stay in my neck of the woods. I really love it “outdoors” but I still have a lot to learn. George, Vera, and Agnes will all help me claim my place in the wilderness. The big one helped a little.

Oh, I almost forgot. Lucy told me what happened to her mother that one terrible night. I cannot imagine what Lucy saw and felt as her mother was killed in front of her. She warned me to come in before it got dark or that could happen to me. She is so brave and I am so sorry about what happened to her mom. Getting up a tree very quickly is what saved Lucy. When she decided to come back to the backyard, Lucy said the big one was so glad to see her and took really good care of her. It took her a long time to get over the horror but she did and now is a great member of the family. I Love Lucy.